A Toddler's Feelings About the New Baby
"My adorable angel first born has suddenly turned into a nonstop hitting, nonstop melting, nonstop tantruming force of nature. Help me!"🌪️
We get this question A LOT. And then, maybe 10 minutes later we hear, "Oh and we had a new baby a few months ago."👶🏾🍼
💥🚨💥🚨💥BOOM THERE IT IS🚨💥🚨💥🚨
It's completely 1000% natural for your toddler to have HUGE feelings about new baby. Your toddler has been the STAR of his or her whole life span!
Here's what you do in these TOUGH moments:
💫Denial: Pushback like “That’s NOT my sister” or “don’t call me big brother”
✨ OK THE FEELING
"You feel that's not your sister, you don't feel like being a big brother today. That's OK, it IS hard."
💫Anger: Oh hey, sudden aggression and hitting
✨ SEE THEM + OK THE FEELING + BOUNDARY
"You're feeling angry. It's OK to feel angry, it's not OK to hit someone. I'm going to move baby over here to keep her safe."
💫Regressions: potty accidents, whining, and wanting to be treated like a baby
✨ PLAY IT COOL
Let them act like a baby. If they insist they're not a big kid, that they're a baby? Hear them. Give them that security that they're still your baby.
💫Emotional Uproar: Tantrums and meltdowns galore🌪
✨ FILL THEIR TANK
When your toddler feels they’re competing with baby for your attention, you'll see a sudden increase in undesired behavior - hitting, whining, tantrums
Fill their attention tanks by carving out 10 mins of daily, one-on-one time with your toddler, where they get your full attention and they pick what you play. No baby, no phones, full attention. You'll see that unwanted behavior subside.
💫 Acceptance: Embracing that baby is here to stay, and there’s an equally lovable spot for both baby and toddler in mom/dads heart. It's OK if you're still not at this step, even 1-2 years later. Or maybe you go back and forth between all of these steps. That's OK! Try the steps above if you're still in the struggle phase, and know that this is all perfectly, totally, completely natural.
And remember you gorgeous warrior parents, this stuff is HARD. This phase? It's TOUGH. It's okay to struggle with the addition of new baby. You're doing AMAZING. Go rock this day.💯💯💯
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