About the sharing police.
Mom, she’s not sharing her toy with me. I’ve heard it from my own kids, other kids and almost every parent I’ve worked with, so what do we do without having to be the sharing police?
Here’s what I help parents coach their kids to do. The idea is that a child who has something another wants does not have to give it up until they are ready and finished. Why? Because if they are playing and in the middle of exploring or using their toy why should they have to give it up because another child desires to use that same thing? So the child who asks is automatically given the toy just because?
That doesn’t seem quite right. But we do want to encourage sharing, so we say: Van, when you are done with the truck can you give it to Emily? He will likely say yes, but Emily might be really upset and that’s OK, feelings are OK and need to come out and sharing might be that place. So we sit with Emily and empathize with her feelings: I know it’s hard to wait and you wanted the toy. I’ll stay with you until Van is done.
We wait with the child until it’s their turn. This encourages organic sharing and after waiting a few times kids will be able to navigate sharing on their own. ♥️
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