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Avoid Saying vs Try Saying

Avoid Saying vs Try Saying

Ah, the blissful chapter they left out of the baby books: The daily UFC moments happening between siblings in your living room 200 times a day.🤼‍♂️

So, in the heat of the moment you shout, "STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER!" And real talk? You probably shout that 200 times day, amiright?!😩⁠

Well, that big reaction, that big STOP? It actually is the VERY thing fueling the hitting. Our kids are SO desperate for our attention that even negative attention, a big reaction? They crave it. So, they just learned, "oooohhhh THAT'S how I get Mommy's attention. Next time I want her to pay attention to me, I'll hit my brother again!"🤯⁠

And? The big "STOP!" might work right that second, but long term? We're not teaching our kids to do anything differently, we're not giving them any tools to be able to react a different way, to STOP the hitting.🛑⁠

So, it’s time to teach the LONG term skills.💫 Bring calm to the chaos.🧘🏾‍♀️⁠

Here’s how: We want you to teach, from an early age, even 1 or 2 years old, body boundaries and consent:

✨When your LO says to stop tickling her, tell her "I hear you say No! Stop! Good job! Whenever you say stop, I will always put my hands up and stop"⁠
✨When your kid is being too rough with YOU, even in a silly way, teach that bodily consent: "Maya, that's a bit rough. I don't like that, when someone says stop, we always put our hands up and stop right away"⁠

Then, for those sibling battles:⁠

TO THE SIBLING GETTING HIT⁠
✨”Max, when you’re no longer liking the way David is playing say, ‘No! Stop hitting me.’”✨ You just empowered him to stand up for his safety and needs in a strong way, a skill that is LIFELONG⁠

TO THE SIBLING HITTING⁠
✨”David, Max, whenever someone in our house says ‘No! Stop!’ we always stop and put our hands up right away.”✨ ⁠

And if that boundary is being crossed, step in with a cool, confident vibe and CREATE SPACE while you HOLD THE BOUNDARY⁠

✨”I see two angry kids. You come over here, and you come over here. We’re going to let our bodies relax for a moment.”✨⁠

This post was brought to you by @biglittlefeelings. More than a toy designer, be mindful is a community of parents who are going through the process of building the best denizens of next generation.  As such we encourage and delight in our community participating in our blog and social media efforts.  Your voice will be heard across our community and who knows which kid or which parent your wisdom will enlighten!  Feel free to email us at howdy@mindful-engineering.com or submit an inquiry on our site if you have a blog post idea you want to share!

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