Boundaries With Kids
We’ve looked at boundaries all week and I am so excited about today!
Boundaries help us differentiate between ourselves and others. It’s as if we have an invisible shield of energy surrounding us. This shield helps us conserve our energy and keep other’s energy from depleting ours.
We choose when to take it down to extend a hand of support or encouragement, but the point is we choose.
With a secure, nurturing relationship as the foundation (see previous post), our children will learn how to respect, develop, and set boundaries.
By watching us set boundaries our children are learning to respect another’s space, energy, time, and limits.
When a new boundary is placed children often protest. It’s okay if they protest. We protest too when someone tells us we can’t do something. We can help them process their upsets and still maintain our boundary.
We can then begin to teach them to develop and set their own boundaries.
Here’s a few things to keep in mind:
✅ Be consistent when setting boundaries
✅ Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no
✅ Validate your child’s experience & feelings while holding the boundary
✅ Teach your child it’s okay to have emotions (the opposite is reverse boundaries where we set up a boundary around our emotions)
✅ Recognize your child’s needs. How can you support the need & hold the boundary?
✅ When possible and appropriate use laughter when setting a boundary (see toothbrush ex. courtesy of @oprah)
✅ Remember your feelings are your own. Your child's feelings are their own.
✅ Respect your child’s boundaries
✅ Reconsider a boundary set that is either unrealistic or coming from your ego
✅ When appropriate it’s okay to negotiate a boundary
✅ Remember your child doesn’t need a perfect parent
✅ Remember you have always been enough, rest in your enoughness
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