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Compliance Does Not Equal Respect

Compliance Does Not Equal Respect

This is such an important topic, but can be a pretty tricky one for us, as adults, to embrace.

Compliance does NOT equal respect.

Prioritising compliance occurs at the expense of meeting the child’s needs. To truly understand a child’s behaviour, we need to be curious and look at the needs behind it (remember our recent post about the iceberg model?)

‘Compliance’ is about obedience; making children do what we want them to do. There is an implied power imbalance and is usually enforced via rewards and punishments (which we know do not meet the underlying need).

Compliance is also somewhat fear-based in nature. When a child is fearful of potential consequences, we're not actually teaching them about the reasons why something is/isn't a good idea.

Respect, however, is mutual and shared. It is reciprocal (which means it’s a two way street). In order to teach children respect, we need to role model it. We have to give it to get it.

Often, it’s not about changing the child’s behavior  but more about changing our response.

This post was brought to you by @connect.ed__. More than a toy designer, be mindful is a community of parents who are going through the process of building the best denizens of next generation.  As such we encourage and delight in our community participating in our blog and social media efforts.  Your voice will be heard across our community and who knows which kid or which parent your wisdom will enlighten!  Feel free to email us at howdy@mindful-engineering.com or submit an inquiry on our site if you have a blog post idea you want to share!

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