Emotional pain is a part of life.
Emotional pain is a part of life. I have been and continue to go through painful experiences and each time I come out more resilient. But what if every time your child was upset you tried to “make them feel better” by talking those sad feelings away or distracting them so they didn’t have a chance to sink into the hurt and upset?
What would happen when you weren’t there to do that, how would they respond when they finally felt hurt? Would it pull them apart? Would they be able to recover and know they were going to be OK? Or would they be scared of those ugly feelings and not have the learned capacity to get through and know they would be fine? Or would they stuff the feelings deep down where they might wreak havoc on their systems?
This doesn’t mean we aren’t supportive. In fact it seems when we can sit with them in their sadness as a true comforter, it connects us.
Shows them we aren’t scared of the ugliness and sadness and helps them feel heard and understood. I like to tell my girls: I’m right here and I’ll be with you, I know this is hard, but we are strong and we will make it thorough.
Even if it’s over a popped balloon or a broken heart, all feelings and reasons are valid.
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