Allowing our children to feel their feelings models that emotions are neither good or bad.
They are neutral.
Emotions come and go like the waves in the sea.
As we continue to model regulation and healthy coping strategies our children learn to observe their emotions, create space, and move on.
They learn not to fear or reject “negative” emotions such as anger, rage, or guilt any more than they would “positive” emotions such as joy and appreciation.
Supporting our children through their emotions may look like, offering our presence, our regulation and sometimes a hug or affirming words.
Some children will welcome all of it.
They want us close by and may sit on our lap while they cry, scream, and let their feelings out.
Others will push us away or run away. Yelling, “GO AWAY MOM/DAD!”
These children experience their feelings as heavy weights.
Their emotions can feel so big that it feels unbearable and they may want nothing more than to hide from them and us.
The thought of talking about them and letting others see them can bring about another big feeling: shame.
“This emotion feels so big and unbearable and I feel ashamed by it that I can’t let you see me.”
It’s in these moments, we remember two things:
🌟 Our inherent worth does not change based on our child’s rejection of us.
Your child may push you away, and you are worthy.
Your child may yell, “leave me alone, go away!” and you still matter.
🌟 Your unwavering presence is still needed.
When our child wants to run away because their feelings feel so big, they still need us.
It may look like us saying, I hear you need space, and I won’t leave you alone with your big feelings.
Be on the lookout for a reel example coming soon!
🗣 Remember that posts and scripts do not give the full picture of what your child needs.
Attuning to their core needs will help guide us.
In other words, you are the best parent for your child.💛
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