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Normalizing

Normalizing

Let's be clear: Respectful parenting is NOT permissive parenting.

❌Permissive parenting = no rules/structure, indulgent = well, sheer chaos🌪️

❌Authoritarian parenting: enforces good behavior with threats, shaming, punishment, less parental warmth = an increase in worsening behavior over time + depression later in life

We are OUT with the old school way of parenting: children being seen not heard, blind obedience, listening to authority OR ELSE. This often leads to 1 of 2 outcomes: a child so compliant they grow into a compliant/people pleasing adult who blindly follows orders, someone who pushes their own needs down OR a child who learns to hide mistakes from their parents, someone whose instinct is to hide their feelings, problems, + true selves from loved ones.

The Latin root of the word discipline means "to teach." How do children/people learn best? Well, think back to the worst teacher/boss you've had. On your case ALL day, pointing out EVERYTHING you did wrong. You’re there to follow the commands + shut your mouth.

Were you motivated? Did you learn/ grow? Nope, you showed up, did bare minimum + couldn't wait to leave.

Now, think of the best teacher/boss you've had. Level headed, calm, CONFIDENT in their leadership. They took charge, but you felt safe knowing they'd lead you in the right direction. They made you feel heard + invested time into you.

So, think of yourself as the calm, confident leader of your home.🏡Someone who:

✅ Leads by example, set the tone
You’re strong + supportive. A boss who leads with confidence, even in times of stress, makes their employees, aka family, feel safe.

✅Makes the big decisions
You confidently decide and enforce when it’s time for a nap, what’s for dinner, and when it’s time to leave the park.

✅Collaborates
You choose the big stuff BUT you empower your toddler with age-appropriate power eg choosing which pair of shoes they want.

✅Speaks with calm confidence
Resist the urge to meet chaos with chaos. Let your calm be contagious.

This post was brought to you by @biglittlefeelings. More than a toy designer, be mindful is a community of parents who are going through the process of building the best denizens of next generation.  As such we encourage and delight in our community participating in our blog and social media efforts.  Your voice will be heard across our community and who knows which kid or which parent your wisdom will enlighten!  Feel free to email us at howdy@mindful-engineering.com or submit an inquiry on our site if you have a blog post idea you want to share!

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