BE MINDFUL STORIES / motivation

It took my baby 5 months before he finally learned how to breastfeed. 
Right out of the womb, the latching was off and in just a few short minutes he stopped nursing.

Ever since then, my son would never latch. I saw several lactation coaches, but nothing helped. He would suck for minute and just work himself into a frenzy. I was devastated. I was depressed. In my eyes, I'd failed as a parent. I was adamant about him being a 100% breast milk baby, and I didn’t stop trying. It’s wasn’t easy; I had to pump milk around the clock, and use the SNS feeding system with a nipple shield. I wished it was easier.

I was jealous of all the breastfed babies I saw. It took a ton of discipline to keep going and not give up. It was exhausting to use the SNS cable each and every single time. I couldn’t ever go anywhere or do anything between the pumping and sanitizing. Eventually I switched to using a bottle, and it made life a little easier, but my milk dropped drastically, and I couldn’t get it back up. My sister had to send me her own frozen breastmilk in the mail because I wasn’t making enough. I kept making less and less milk.

At 5 months, I decided to take a leap of faith. I stopped everything and started trying to breastfeed again. No SNS cable, no bottle. It was one of the most difficult and stressful things I ever experienced. After what seemed like an eternity of crying and tears, we were relaxing on the couch one day, and he latched. I couldn’t believe it. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

My son was breastfeeding - finally after dreaming about this day, it was real. Slowly, the milk came in. Little by little he got better and better at breastfeeding. Eventually I fully transitioned to breastfeeding, and stopped using the bottle and pump.

We’ve been going strong ever since, this photo was taken when he was 9 months old. My son just turned 2 and we don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Don’t give up!

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I don’t binge watch Netflix, indulge in my favorite treats, or pamper myself like I used to do in the past. Instead, I force myself to read and listen to books that make me think and look at myself and my life differently.