Try This Instead? – https://www.mindful-engineering.com
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Try This Instead?

Try This Instead?

When kids bonk their heads or scrape their knees and burst into tears, our first instinct is to reassure them (“It’s okay! Don’t cry!”). We can see kids getting hurt as an invitation to check in with ourselves, and observe where our discomfort with their pain and surprise originates. Does their pain make us feel anxious, ashamed, or vulnerable? How do we respond to our own pain? Do we suppress, invalidate, and explain away? Do we numb, soothe, and distract ourselves from hurt and discomfort?

Our intention is to comfort kids and make them feel okay, but...it isn’t up to us to decide that they’re okay. Our job is to support them through whatever they are feeling. When we tell them not to cry, even with good intentions, their first thought when they want to cry will be “don’t!”

If we shift our language from “it’s okay” to “I’m here,” we communicate to kids that our connection is unconditional, and that they don’t need to hide their true feelings.

This post was made possible by Patreon support.

This post was brought to you by @curious.parenting. More than a toy designer, be mindful is a community of parents who are going through the process of building the best denizens of next generation.  As such we encourage and delight in our community participating in our blog and social media efforts.  Your voice will be heard across our community and who knows which kid or which parent your wisdom will enlighten!  Feel free to email us at howdy@mindful-engineering.com or submit an inquiry on our site if you have a blog post idea you want to share!

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