We are human.
To those of us who ever struggle with envy, comparison & jealousy - these words are ours. (Fairly certain we all fall into this category, right? Because we are human. It’s okay to be human.)
Can I share something I do when those icky feelings bubble up? Maybe it could help you too.
Name the thing. Name it over and over again as ugly and uncomfortable as it sounds. Name it in your journal or out loud to someone you trust.
Chew on it. Take it for a walk. Inhale it in and exhale it out. Keep on naming it until the thing starts to take on a new shape and form. Suddenly you’re not speaking about a person or thing at all. You’re speaking about yourself.
Some hidden desire. Some unnecessary guilt or shame. Something you’ve been harboring for longer than you intended.
I find in time, it’s no longer about her and what she has it’s about me and what I really long for. It’s about something I’m wrestling through deep inside. It’s okay to wrestle here.
And once you find where it hurts deep within you - don’t just ignore it or sweep it under the rug. Hold it. Feel it. Recognize it. Give it a little time and attention. Maybe it’s a tiny thing that needs to be let go. And maybe it’s something much bigger. Something that’s been whispering in your ear and you’re finally listening.
Lastly, cheer that person on. Give them a hug, a high five, a keep it up. Let them know you see what they are doing and it’s good. Because chances are they are carrying around hurts too. And might wonder if anyone sees them. Chances are they struggle with confidence and direction and balance and joy. Just like me and you. So give them all the love you can muster.
Because we are cut from the same cloth. And we need each other. You just might find all that envy and bitterness melt away into compassion and encouragement. You might be able to move on and up. I have before.
Tell me, do you wrestle with these feelings? And how do you respond? What works for you?
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