When Your Kid is Scared
Your toddler is scared of the slide, or school drop off, or a purple crayon. Maybe it's a valid fear, or maybe it's ridiculous, but either way, we go, "You're fine! Don't be scared!"
But, have you ever confided in someone about a fear of yours? Maybe a fear of failing, of not being good enough, or maybe that deep fear that you'd never find a partner, or have a baby.
And then, that person says, “You’re fine!” "Stop Worrying!" “That’s crazy!” Does it help you feel calmer? Safer? More connected? Nope. You probably get MORE upset, more afraid, more alone.
All you needed in that moment was, "Man, that's a tough place to be in. It's ok to feel this way." 🌈
Our kids are the same way.💛
FEAR is about SAFETY. And most times, when we - as adults, with lots of life experience and perspective - say “You’re ok”, what we actually MEAN is “You’re safe.”
When they’re feeling scared, how can we help them feel better? How can we support them but also empower them?
✨SEE THEM, OK THE FEELING✨
“You’re feeling scared. It's ok to feel scared.”
Validating feelings is great for toddlers, for mother-in-laws, for tough bosses. Humans crave it.
Instill this confidence. Let them know you're right there with them
Wanna next level this? Narrate with ways to cope + feel brave. Narrating is a SUPER powerful tool we can use to shift the story in our toddler's minds to help them out of scared-mode, and into empowered-mode.🧠💪🏽
✨"You're feeling scared about the slide. Sometimes I feel scared too. How can we make the slide less scary? We can sit over here and watch until you're ready."
✨"You were feeling nervous when I dropped you off at school. It's ok to feel nervous, we all feel that way at times. While you were there, you played with play doh, how did you feel. Calm?Happy? Yes! Next time you're feeling nervous, you could play with play doh, like we have at home."
✨"You were scared at the dentist. It's ok to feel scared. You DID it! You're so brave!"
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